I Love Them Both

My mind plays tricks on me

When I think I need to give up it pushes me on

When I think I have done all I can do

It lets me know I still have more in me

It helps me to ignore the maliciousness of those closest to me

The jealousy and envy they hold

When I feel I still have nothing

Slipping between the seconds as they get closer to infinity

I stand on small stones of resiliency

Holding the small ground I raised my expectations on as my island

Staying afloat to look like a mirage

Drink of this potion and intoxicate your life with my spirits

Hallucinations make people think they are perfect

Perfection is the final stages of life when there is no living left to do

It rests in smiles of children that really only love

Rarely know hate except in words repeated from adults they believe in

My mind plays tricks on me

Telling me I can no longer believe in men

I have to loose the "n" and only believe in me

Superficial is the love of a person that is still angry and won't forgive you

Won't ever let you grow from your old self and skin already shedded

Heading for a finite position

I now understand

That my mind is my best friend

I need to embrace her willingness to love me

Intermingle her sound judgement and fidelity

And weigh it against my self

For he still is basking in arrogance

And afraid to ask for direction

I am more akin to him than my mind

So presently

I still am lost

But one day I will listen to her and find my way

I love them both as I love myself