The More I Stand still

Fill the empty mind with worth

Pass the blame to self first

Heed the call for security

Because you are scared to succeed

Inhale the inspiration to breathe easier

I'm transparent and its apparent

That you really don't want to see

You really are not that open to being open

Discussion happens from two willing parties

Mirrors reflect extra caution

My portion double dosed

Forced my hand to close quicker

I've always been anti-nigger

Why are you reading this

What do you want to finally witness

What solution do you think you get by browsing

A curse to your family if you wish me ill

As I grow stronger

The more I stand still

What Reward

I deal in fiction some say because I hope the people can come together

I would like to think of this as a biographical

Because I am writing my legacy

With a reflective pen full of blood and mirrors

Spilling the ink into the psyche and consciousness of the planet

I don’t take counsel in my friends unless they hold integrity to be brutal

The growth from pain equaled out with qualified praise turns the wheel

Personal wounds stay open and unaddressed

Hidden like cuts on my torso

Opening over and over as I move

Seeping into my underwear and not visible to passers by

But I know the sickness that I live through and live by

My remedy is to stay still and watch

Hold myself and others accountable for who we proclaim to be

It is obvious to me

That you really don’t know me

So whoever misled you should be held accountable by you

Not me, for I know who I am fully

I know my deepest intimacies and perversions

I know my alarming thoughts that have become normal to me

Because I have been accustomed to loving my life more than yours

Self preservation can get sadistic to keep off static

I’ve been an addict to the pain and pressure so its hard for me to relax

I’ve made my weaknesses my strength

Just to make sense of it all

But what reward do I enjoy if I end up alone and without you

Without someone that looks like me and understands my nuances

That understands answers to questions like I do

Man how are you doing?

Sister how are you holding on?

Both of them answered emphatically

Please, I’m from the G…

An idiom to an idiot that does not understand that this is infinite

It is the adhesive to our recognition that no one should complain

Especially when we can open our eyes and see that no one cares

Everyone gets as far away from us as possible

As a solution for a better life for them

As if black hard work brings dirty sweat

As if the whole word can selectively forget

How we have made the world better

I remember every time I see a street light

I remember every time I hear “The Real McCoy”

Every time I see a child still smile in situations with the worst neglect

Every human being can respect that we want the best for our children

If there is no bridge then we have to build them

Walk across them daily to show the wear of its use

I’m from a city, in a region in a state of confusion

Where everyone should face the solution

Is reflected daily in the mirror

That as I learn to work progressively with you

I learn to work progressively

With my self

Until Their Death

I want to speak from a place hidden inside me by formalities

But I have to understand how my words cut and bruise

Plenty of people have ben hurt already and bring it to our introduction

Like little ex-girlfriends waiting for you to say something wrong

So they can catch you in a lie

When in reality

What you say is not a lie

It's just not a truth for you and them

People need winters to remember how cold the world is

How selfish a girl is

And how much responsibility they lay on you when things go wrong

How much credibility they take for keeping the relationship together

Really saying my worth is in security and warmth

If you don't have no money

Then you are a bum

Perform upon request

Or she'll let a rich guy cum

By now you should be numb and stop acting naive

As if you never seen this web weaved

You never felt sticky secretions from a black widows rear

Stay close enough to it and all kinds of things will appear

I have been my own worst enemy

Although I pretend to be my friend

I am at odds with my self now on whether to live or not

Who's winning

Don't worry I already know who you are rooting for

Place your bets

I'll have no regrets when this is done

I am still my fathers son

Born with my mother's aggression

In my hand, a stranger's Smith and Wesson

I already understand the consequences

It's just explaining this to my babies

Explaining how I let shady folk become a part of their life

How my vice past my advice still affects their life

Just how did I choose their mothers

And did their mothers really ever choose me

Am I just making the best of things

Because as strong as I am

I still can't get any understanding

I want to speak from a place hidden inside of me by formalities

But I have to understand how my words cut and bruise

Plenty of people have ben hurt already and bring it to our introduction

Like little ex-girlfriends waiting for you to say something wrong

So they can catch you in a lie

When in reality

What you say is not a lie

It's just not a truth for you and them

Can't people understand that feelings are reckless and haphazard

So I have to stay close to my logic

A heart is so deceitful

And it will have you say forget the math

This has worked somewhere I know

And leave you broken again with nothing to from it to show

You don't just leave the vomit

You clean it up

So depression is your enemies friend

It just slows you down unless you embrace it

Taste it for all of its bitterness

So the scent of success reminds your palate

Its sweeter being happy

But addicts look so happy during the high

As time passes them by

I hug myself when I am alone

And I feel the addicts cry

They want to know why

And why is because suffer the little children do

And then they die

I lost my mind when I found out

Everything we have been taught to believe in

Has been a lie

No one knows where we come from

No one knows where we go in the end

Go get yourself some things you can leave on this earth to your seeds

It will help them think and begin to befriend the wind

It will help them think and begin to befriend the wind

Life is short if you are having fun

Its long and hard for most

Most people are obsessed

To remember to try and forget

Forget where they made mistakes

Why they have wept

Why they are behind right now

Where they know they should be

So they pray and fellowship faithfully

My faith and prayer are tied into my works

I don't have the strength to call God a jerk

Or to be angry at why all people suffer life until they die

Then they may still suffer on the other side

Unless you are devout to what some man has passed down to you

On this side Riiiight

Why do I see so many that look like me

Under the heel of someone that does not believe in God

I never liked them so I never joined their ranks

And you seem so psychotic when you say you just believe

And you can't explain to me why you believe

And you get angry when I don't agree because you can't explain

Or your explanations require you to use some thing other than your brain

And you refuse to think main...

This is when I really see your pain

And reality sets back in again

This is when I really see your pain

And reality sets back in again

And you focus and try to remember to forget

That you don't know why you believe

It's just a feeling...

Nothing empirical

Life is just a miracle

You don't need any evidence

The devil is a scientist

No one knows where we come from

No one knows where we go in the end

Go get yourself some things you can leave on this earth to your seeds

It will help them think and begin to befriend the wind

Life is short if you are having fun

Its long and hard for most

Most remember to try and forget

Forget where they made mistakes

Why they have wept

They tell me hold my head up

Don't look at the ground

But how else will I watch my steps

I live my life for my self and no one else...

I live my life for my self and no one else...

I live my life for my self and no one else...

Most won't figure this out until their death....