What Reward

I deal in fiction some say because I hope the people can come together

I would like to think of this as a biographical

Because I am writing my legacy

With a reflective pen full of blood and mirrors

Spilling the ink into the psyche and consciousness of the planet

I don’t take counsel in my friends unless they hold integrity to be brutal

The growth from pain equaled out with qualified praise turns the wheel

Personal wounds stay open and unaddressed

Hidden like cuts on my torso

Opening over and over as I move

Seeping into my underwear and not visible to passers by

But I know the sickness that I live through and live by

My remedy is to stay still and watch

Hold myself and others accountable for who we proclaim to be

It is obvious to me

That you really don’t know me

So whoever misled you should be held accountable by you

Not me, for I know who I am fully

I know my deepest intimacies and perversions

I know my alarming thoughts that have become normal to me

Because I have been accustomed to loving my life more than yours

Self preservation can get sadistic to keep off static

I’ve been an addict to the pain and pressure so its hard for me to relax

I’ve made my weaknesses my strength

Just to make sense of it all

But what reward do I enjoy if I end up alone and without you

Without someone that looks like me and understands my nuances

That understands answers to questions like I do

Man how are you doing?

Sister how are you holding on?

Both of them answered emphatically

Please, I’m from the G…

An idiom to an idiot that does not understand that this is infinite

It is the adhesive to our recognition that no one should complain

Especially when we can open our eyes and see that no one cares

Everyone gets as far away from us as possible

As a solution for a better life for them

As if black hard work brings dirty sweat

As if the whole word can selectively forget

How we have made the world better

I remember every time I see a street light

I remember every time I hear “The Real McCoy”

Every time I see a child still smile in situations with the worst neglect

Every human being can respect that we want the best for our children

If there is no bridge then we have to build them

Walk across them daily to show the wear of its use

I’m from a city, in a region in a state of confusion

Where everyone should face the solution

Is reflected daily in the mirror

That as I learn to work progressively with you

I learn to work progressively

With my self