Clear To My Own

My fever has taken me to near insanity

The clarity that is needed to breathe has been clouded

My charge is to be the best me I can at all times

My responsibility to self is stronger than that to anyone else

I love deeper than the bone marrow surrounded by muscles

Muscles not yet strong enough to weather the storm of you

My trial is life in the concept of death

Hallowed ground of the sacrificed dream for the practicality of truth

Subjective as it is and delusions of peace broken by words

I can't find silence even when I'm alone

Can you purchase a piece of me you ask?

You taunt my choices telling me I could make more working with you

But why just make money with you

I'm making history on my own...

I'm living for my beliefs why you swear by dieing for yours

Please expedite the process by killing yourself in the most respectful way

Your resurrection as a new self is welcome, if that is at all possible

I sure hope so because the present you is a drag

Brag as you must no one wants your touch

So we stay away even when in close proximity

I would rather not speak but it is part of my role

So I send you empty kisses from frozen lips

Unwarmed by the least bit concern that you could ever feel me

I'm not lost in anything but the cycle of living destined to end

Seldom exposing an enemy too late nor recognizing a friend

Your exploitation of my youth gives me the power to intercept your interaction with my seeds

Be they from my loins or from my heart and mind

My eyes show you that you need to leave mine alone

Once I was your mercenary so you know its necessary to protect yourself from my wrath

I'd frequently stand in a bloodbath and laugh at your sensitivity

Just because you were never there you knew so blood was on your hands

Though I don't dance where you dance nor have a romance with lies

My alibi has always been that my methodology is flexible

My ideology is steady and my true intent is personal

And not to be revealed but is clear as day to my own

Quit Lying On Me

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They told me to fellowship with them

They asked ME to their place of worship where we could share how we felt about the Lord

Where we could dialog and read the scriptures of the Bible and SHARE our discoveries

And everything was going great until I crossed the line with them and I did not agree...

I question the logic in them repeating these stories that have been in our possession for hundreds of years

And during these hundreds of years we have done nothing but loose, be beaten down and raped

Gutted and taken for all of our humanity

BUT God is good all the time and all the time God is good

Well, I wonder where the hell they live

Or what God we are talking about

The God I've always learned about loves you but He is NOT going to step in and get nobody off your back

He will let you suffer until your suffering becomes unpopular to the point that it's bad for business like the Civil Rights Movement

It was bad business for America to be exposed like that to the world

But it was worse business for all of the Blacks to unite to collectively give white folks all they money

They were singing "We shall overcome" when really they meant "We shall come over" and bring you all of our money...

See Mr. Charlie you have been sooo good to us that we have had to stand in lines for days while you sicked dogs on us

Sprayed us with water hoses and sent the police a beating on us

Made us eat in the back of the restaurants and sit on the back of the bus and now we are gonna get you back

We are going to turn our backs on our own thriving businesses and we are going to give all of our money to you

Cause you have been so good to us, I mean so bad to us, we are going to show you by making you so rich

And we are going to bankrupt our business just to show you

YOU can not tell me where to spend my cash

We see now when Blacks didn't have to drink out of that fountain no one else did either

The same went with our business, when we didn't support them no one else did either

How you like that now Mr. Charlie!?

Oh you moving?

Moving where?

Ahhh Ha ha... into the suburbs

Well you go on cause now WE are all going to get your old houses

And the police are going to stay away

And crime is going to increase

And values are going to go down

Until you and your folk get tired of driving so far and you regentrificate

And fumigate all the stupid little Negros that thought they would show you

True, true, true

Now the church fellowships bigger

And they buy all the property up in the hood next to your houses

Now your property taxes have to go up because the church and its businesses are tax free

So now look what the Lord done did for you and me

We work harder to get less out of our labor and property

And you too can be a part of all of this...

Unless you do not agree with going along with this program

Twist scripture to have the preacher think that as a representative of Jesus on earth

The preacher needs a top of the line BMW and his wife needs a designer purse

And all of the parishioners should show how good God has blessed them

Come to service showing off your material blessings from your spiritual feedings

And if you are still impoverished then your ministry is weak

So to speak your hustle is not strong

Humph

Well, I saw this on a T-Shirt out west and I feel it is the most honest of things I think Jesus would do with all the blaspheming going on

All the lies that church folks have been telling us since we were a child

Like Jesus is God, implying that he endorsed the Bible when he did no such thing

They want us to think that God in the flesh was talking to God in the spirit when jesus was on the cross saying

FATHER forgive them for they know not what they do

But at least it is still true to what they believe with no proof

Right, he rarely said any words in the Bible

Jesus was definitely NOT a Christian

It's like from the jump the Bible tests your logic

It reads there is only Adam and Eve, Cain and Able

Cain kills Able then moves to the land of Nod

Knows his wife and has a son Enoch

Huh? Is this his sister? Where did she come from and when?

And this is how the Bible begins

Most all of the complete text is hearsay

Nothing you could ever go to court on, except in your imaginary court

In your imaginary places to act like we are not ACTUALLY falling behind

Imaginarily you say we should bear this cross and get our salvation when we die

My reply is your religion and your fellowship has got you too dumb and too high

So I agree with the T-Shirt and I believe what it says is true

If Jesus would return right now - what would Jesus do

I feel he would slap the shit out of you on GP

And tell all of you so-called believers

Quit lying on me

Shackles In The Form Of Lies

My new vision releases me from my prison of fear and division
My skeptism denied my flight until I believed in you
My self-preservation left a demonstration for my future
But now inside of myself I figured out the reason to believe
Hidden in places deep inside of ourselves we continue to seek refuge from the unknown
When we finally figure out that we were born with everything we need to survive
We have more than likely given our worth to the unworthy
Shared our love with the unloving to find resolve in loneliness

Loneliness happens in open crowds shrouded with smiles
In style is the fashion of facades
Hard, is what it is to exist inside of this superficialness
But we press through to try and be approved
We lust for the acceptance to have the ability to reject it
My feelings have long gone numb for the dumb
I mean I know you know I know you really don't like me when its like that
So I switch hats and just play my part
Smart most of us are and wisdom we lack
Just the fact that we even play games to be part of an in crowd that screams loud as ever "We need more cain to cover this pain!"
See daddy has been too busy to hug them
Mommy has been too busy covering her stretch marks to reach for them
Bleed me to color your lipstick and kiss
Hide all your aspiration and dance as hard as you can

I can supply you the rhythm
See close your eyes real tight and just stomp harder
Raise your hands high and clap them
Smash all your enemies above your head in private
No one knows their egos are getting crushed under your feet right now
Spin around and 'round and shake off the negativity they threw on you
How dare they share their univited hate and wait to see if you receive it
Now when we sweat they can retrieve it
My skin is the arena for the festival of frustration release
The beast within could not penetrate the beauty on top
Stop on a dime
When you're done
Look how the sun made a special appearance in the flesh
Yes, this is the perfect time to leave behind all shackles in the form of lies
I am more than worthy to receive it, this blessing, this feeling
An interpersonal healing fleeting sharp rushes like menthol over wet bodies
Washing up in the morning with loofa and peppermint soap
The water cascading down your neck and spine
Just to help you forget one time and remember
Feeling is the best you can get
Bad or good
It truely just is....

With No Expectations

I've been to the den of burdens and left with traces of hope

Because I try to succeed it breathes into my mind more than air

Who could try and trace the images of your fears to disappear

Here in the flesh is a much worse fate than your imagination

I try and imagine people loving each other for the sake of love

Beginning to open up to the truth that we are all tainted skin from production

My father's approach got him inside my mother

But he could not respect the womb that carried me

The rejection of his proposal made him bitter but I know the truth

He used to visit in the late hours in hope that she would let him repeat his mistake

How little he must have thought of me and of she

She must have been heart broken by the reality of his inconsistency

Although I was jealous of his house occupants I just don't repeat his tragedy

I loved my seed from the thought of his possibility

He has always felt my love

No abandonment will ever come to fruition for any of my children

I labor today so they can own tomorrow

Work is for suckers or the foolish and unprepared

We should not have to prostitute our intellect to feed our hunger

But so many times we do by working for the ignorant

And giving them so much of us they repackage it and speak of us

And we receive it like strangers of our own spirit and time

If I shine my son shall radiate better

My love resonates between his ears and in his flesh

It must be wonderful to really feel that someone will do anything for your happiness

I know he knows if everyone says no I will see if I can say yes

If I can be yes for him

Because I give him love with no limitations

And I receive him with no expectations

Forensic

Peace was sent and rejected by the rebellious

Silence was sent and rejected by the boisterous

I left both at the doorway to chic because I was not fashionably late

I've been fed hate daily since I left my mother's breast

Why should I care if they have sex with each other

Isn't making love better than making hate

Isn't being who you feel you should be better than being fake

You hibernate and wake to the same depression

You try hard as you will but you are not the best at every session

My depression is counteracted by my will to survive

I have to live to continue the progress

Anything else would need a forensic scientist to pry and eaves drop on everything I cop

But never stop at the top

Go to the tip and if you slip

You surely would be ordinary

A fate worse than death itself