http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iW5EwfyVnOw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

All Things Are Conditional

When you have expectations of anyone outside of yourself
You are setting yourself up for disappointment
I try not to ever have expectations
But people ask me to trust them
I think they ask me to trust them to see if I will only
They definitely have their interests in mind
Which is not a bad thing
Its just not an honest thing
The reasons behind anything that they say to me is the conditions
I love you if you do this...
I love you if you do that...
I mean this to you if you do this...
I meant this to you if you do that...
I am secure enough in myself to not need conditions
I don't need you to be a certain way to me for me to be a certain way to you
I know all things are conditional outside of your children
So I don't place people in situations where they have to feel uncomfortable
I'm not closing my eyes while I am intimate to not fall deeper into anything
I'm not playing games with my space and or feelings
I'm not into saying I can help you, but under these conditions
I don't do that because I represent myself and my children
I already have disappointed them enough in the past
When will I take responsibility and do what is best for them?
When will I take responsibility and do what's best for me
My life is ending
Their life is beginning
I am their hero until they can evaluate me amongst their other heroes
In a while I may not fly so high
My cape may not be so brilliant
My strength will definitely diminish
And my all knowing brian will pale inside of the new world they will discover
I love them
And I need to remember how to truly love myself
All things being conditional....

Elle Est Belle (pronounced El - Ay - Bell)

Elle est belle 

And so many times I have never told her

I have passed her in streets congested with ugliness and she has renewed my spirit

I have seen her in her present condition and thought about how I may have contributed to her pain

See I have learned from other males and it's not surprising that "il" is the noun for male in french

We do sick things at times to ourselves so others don't have a chance

Yet, elle est belle

I'm not in euphoria either or speaking of any of the negative attributes of her

I am focusing on that part of her that is bigger than my primal instinct to return to Eve

Bigger than my desire to fill her and feel her as I attempt to change our future

I mean have you really seen elle as she is just being her

The perk in her step as she remembers something else that she needs to do

Her internal laugh as she remembers something that she enjoyed that was done to her

I try to stay valued in both categories

Not judging my worth by her

But showing the worth of her to me

It's easy to be vulgar

The art is in the sensuality

Elle has a tenderness that can be given in reward for her respect

Elle, tu me manque (I miss you)

Le dernier fois que je te voir (The last time I saw you)

Je te l"avais dit... (I told you)

Ni mois sauf toi (Not me without you)

Ni toi sauf moi (Or you without me)

And I meant it

I was you before I became me and I carry your "x"

"Y" makes me who I am but I still understand the compassion needed to care

You keep me there...

The problem with most of my peers words to your ears is the same problem I have with them

We don't believe them...

There has been a lost integrity behind saying what we mean

And meaning what we say

The true value of us is how everyone else feels when we are taken away

My memories of being held by you have always carried me through

So in some sort of way I want you to feel held by me

In all of my actions 

In all of my art

Elle est belle is an essential part

She is beautiful

And her inner most beauty is what drives me to her all the time

I try to complement her scars because they give her skin character

Even though she  has been taught that covering them up makes her belle

I often let her walk by when she is made up for the show

I've been hugged and got some of that on my skin

It was hot and my pores could not breathe

And if this makes her feel good then I accept it

I just don't think she believes me when I tell her that its not my preference

I like her scratches and nicks, they tell her story

I'm not talking about in marketing and promotion because we all know that that is for perfection

And this is an imperfect world 

So I hope that we all know that that is not real or attainable

Its for money

And so many do anything for money

And this is exactly where they lower their value

Il et elle (him and her)

They say all money spends the same

That has not been my experience

They say all sex is the same

That has not been my experience either

They say all men are the same

I hope this is not true

They say all women are the same

Now I know I can stop this with you

The truth is that you have the potential to start and or stop a war

Speak to the core of all of our pain if you speak to us and not at us

The maternal has an order we have not followed for so long in public

Privately wishing things could change

But not exerting our strengths to manifest what our hearts have called for

A return to the respect for elle

Then our speech in public will be tempered by appropriate dialog for our daughters

Our appearance would be palatable to all our children

And the elders would rejoice and enthusiastically give us permission to speak

And the sounds wouldn't be so weak

And everyone could tell

Elle est belle

I Fly 4 Life

I Fly 4 Life

I Fly 4 Life

I fly for the opportunity to live

I soar high above the earth on hope

I also understand what it feels like

To be tired

To be confused

To want to give up

But I don’t

I don’t ever give up

I found out that my smile

My smile soothes the spirit

It is received through the eyes

And goes right to the heart

I cry too

I Fly because of how I cry

Not why

I just fill up with so much

That it just leaks out

And it’s ok

I’m not the 1^st

And I won’t be the last to cry

And I am aware that others care

People that don’t even know me feel for me

Not so strange strangers

Want to know

Where I get the strength

See, I stretch out my arms

Even if it’s when I close my eyes

And I float high above this earth

I head for the stars

I see above the clouds

I look at the sun

And I fell its heat on my face

And I remember

I Fly 4 Life

I fly to live

I fly for love

And my life makes me give

Over and over and over and over and over

Again

So you too may live…

I fly 4 Life

I fly forever

We fly together…

Communicate With The Dead

Communicate With The Dead Blackexperimentalism - The Movement
http://soundcloud.com/kelechukwu-brnfre/communicate-with-the-dead

I Must Still Have Some Worth

I don't mind when she lays on my shoulder and speaks to me about myself and my behavior

When she tells me of how my actions have hurt us and our future

I have learned to not negate what she says because i don't believe it

because if she is saying that she feels this then this is her truth

I don't mind when she raises her voice about issues that are serious for her

Even when i think she is over-exaggerating and being too extreme

I try to always reflect later on what took past between us to try and better address the situation

On the outside people would marginalize this to love

I feel that respect is greater than love because people hit the children they love

Grab the spouse they love and neglect them as a punishment

People don't speak to people they love for years over small things

But people always give people they respect room to grow

The benefit of doubt and the room to change for the better

I respect her mind so I listen to her thoughts

I respect her decisions so I try to partner mine with hers

When she is done talking and I have listened intently

I find that I am better because of the time I have taken

I learned more about myself by listen to the perception of me from someone I respect

Someone that I don't limit to love

Someone that stretches my boundaries to be greater

If I am angry about anything it is that I never got it before

I don't romanticize any past relationship errors that could be corrected

I appreciate this moment in time of my life

Everything changes

But every change does not make you better

More prepared for the fact that at some period and time in your life

You have more past and less future to look forward to having

So you have to enjoy her softness and character

And her character has to be what you live for as time and gravity weighs in

And understand that I an a handful

But I have a life of living to give

And if she wants to share it with me

Then I must still have some worth...

Umbilical

In a time when creativity and original ideas seem to be limited

Where loyalty has taken an all time low

Where you really have to be careful of whom you consider friends

And really evaluate those you feel are enemies

All experiences teach you lessons

What you retain has to make you better when you see this again

Pretend you share the same placenta as a thinker

That you evaluate yourself and your energies and what surrounds you

That you can explain all of your actions and reasons for all the things that you do

Pretend that you are deliberate with your speech

And that you think before you speak

And that you understand the repercussions of erroneous words

That you understand what is said and what is not said

And that you evaluate actions so a lot does not need be said

Pretend that in this placenta you feel the emotions of creator

And you have that burst of energy that pushes you past stale environments

Makes you seek the positive in the situation

And to give yourself encouragements because very few give you genuine feedback

Pretend all of the women that you have dealt with understand that if its over you can still speak

Their emotions don't have to overbear their sensibility to be around you

That they should see that you have accepted rejection before

And that rejection is not death to anything but rather life to new realities

Pretend you are a man and you have to let go of childish things

Move into more secured areas that allow your children to feel safe

Understand the the transition from boy to man is an unclear line with no time attached

Know that anger and hate don't qualify as justifications for violence

And that there is nothing as strong as gentleness

And nothing is as gentle as real strength

And you do not have to be a pacifist to not like war

Now get back into your own reality

And you can see why I keep cutting the umbilical

Then We repent

My fast growing desire to be inside of my head to stay warm inside of heated thoughts of passion

The depths of the ending that never comes as many times as she sounds off into the universe for freedom

Her electricity powers my need to keep her captivated by the intensity of my interest and I turn black

I don't get green with envy, I stay black because I am the presence of every color and emotion

My inner being is deep enough to drown in and stay calm because you know some air will rise

Like I have for so many moons and so may suns that have rose and set in the horizon of us

I really am not ashamed of my lust for you and the strength in my arms contract like a boa around you

We suffocate because our kisses press our face and bodies close so we sweat and enter each other

Pourous is our love and we slowly seep into the unconsciousness and rest and peace of sleep and dance in each others dreams

Day dreams just as strong so I forget that I hate to leave the bed we share to go gather means to buy more tributes to my adoration of our images

I have to make room for more mirrors on our walls to catch us at more angles as we bathe in each others scent

Then we repent...

I Love Them Both

My mind plays tricks on me

When I think I need to give up it pushes me on

When I think I have done all I can do

It lets me know I still have more in me

It helps me to ignore the maliciousness of those closest to me

The jealousy and envy they hold

When I feel I still have nothing

Slipping between the seconds as they get closer to infinity

I stand on small stones of resiliency

Holding the small ground I raised my expectations on as my island

Staying afloat to look like a mirage

Drink of this potion and intoxicate your life with my spirits

Hallucinations make people think they are perfect

Perfection is the final stages of life when there is no living left to do

It rests in smiles of children that really only love

Rarely know hate except in words repeated from adults they believe in

My mind plays tricks on me

Telling me I can no longer believe in men

I have to loose the "n" and only believe in me

Superficial is the love of a person that is still angry and won't forgive you

Won't ever let you grow from your old self and skin already shedded

Heading for a finite position

I now understand

That my mind is my best friend

I need to embrace her willingness to love me

Intermingle her sound judgement and fidelity

And weigh it against my self

For he still is basking in arrogance

And afraid to ask for direction

I am more akin to him than my mind

So presently

I still am lost

But one day I will listen to her and find my way

I love them both as I love myself

ged Selectively If we only could stay true to our commitments We would receive what we deserve Ultimately

oose to argue Why is it so hard to just live with This is just what this is... Its not for the kids Selfish does what selfish is What is sacred has chan

Half my day gone waiting on an I love you Half the time thinking maybe I should just tell you All the time that is said to be love Wasted because they ch

She exists in me

Asymmetrical to the heavens walking in flesh and the sun bearing children inside of tears of joy

The universe emptied its energy into a cosmos and reminded me life is worth living still

Her beauty reproduced in the eyes and whispers of envious limbs that support other women

Trying to be a part of some sort of Divine order in a godless world is where I met her

In the brief moments that divide seconds before they cluster into time infinitum

I was reminded that a human can reach the levels of angels and hang in the clouds effortlessly

As long as the vision is pure and from the soul and leveled with the fear of our mortality

Understanding that time is slow and fast and a man made concept of how to capture moments

So time is not real, sleep is not real, I recognize neither when she and I are intertwined

Apart from her I look at the sun and moon when I wake and gaze at our eyes past reflection

My senses magnified by anticipation of the thought of the scent of the wind passing her skin

The study of the stimulation of the memory of the nerves delivery from the touch of a single lash of her eye

The earth rotates its axis back and forth to move the wind as she bends

Immeasurable is her affect on this planet as her menstruation keeps the sky regular and cleansed

Her past belief in other guys lies reassure the hope of some truth coming in this reality

Where hustlers pass blame to those hustled for not recognizing they were being played

Where the power of love and dedication make trust a five letter word that equals to blindness

I respect her minds decisions as well as her body's reaction to outside influences

So her aborted fetuses resupply the pool for old souls so new life can continue

Her open eyes show the optimism of anything being possible as recuperation from any pain

I have licked her wounds with her and offered my vulnerability to her as a strength by submission

And I am not submissive

I have just learned follow the natural order of my head and listen twice as much as I speak

Her interpretation of my life's past delivery shows me why I have not been fruitful

Mainly because I have not been truthful or faithful to anyone or my self

She radiates and illuminates my dark thoughts until they no longer exist

She is an amalgamation of thoughts and experiences of every woman that has pass before me

Spoke to, hugged, loved or hated me, engaged me and or ignored me

I created these ideas inside of a vacuum of loneliness when it was her that showed me

There has always been a difference between being lonely and being alone

Being alone can give me more time to reflect on myself and just breathe and listen to what the earth is saying

It can also be a reality for me even when I am in a committed relationship because there is no communication

So many couples look so good on paper but inside they are unhappy

She has shown me happiness once again past the gossip of insecure women and effeminate men

The closeness of a good woman is the equivalence of a very great friend that wants whats best for you

She is not a sexual object for your pleasure never to be served and never to be pleased

Every time she serves me I try to serve her right back but better, longer and stronger

I won't fall into the cycle and wait for her to initiate before I participate again

I'll let her know that I have been waiting on her and how important she has been in my life using words not just actions

I've been thinking about her and how I would show her I have missed her since she was last in my presence with words and actions

I want to embrace her in a way physically, mentally and spiritually to show her my incompleteness without her

How I like to kiss her so softly that every groove on her fingerprint is a loving labyrinth

Leading to the rest of her body's bounty and no matter where my face finds itself

My eyes and my attention are deeply imbedded into the sight of her as she lay in my arms thoroughly satisfied that I exist in her

And my behavior when I am in places alone should reflect how much she exists in me...

Constantly connecting through the universe monitoring my actions that she is more important to me than any mistake I would need to apologize for

And I am strong enough to not allow anyone to take away or interrupt the sanctity where we last left and my body has her last touch

So even in my demise the last time that I would rise and fall would be in and for her so she would always retain the last of me

As I would hold my last intimate moments with her for my infinity

In heaven as in the earth - she'd exist in me

Dre

The earth births and shares until its over

Memories make sure that it never is

Dig that...

I still hear your voice

I still see your face

I still understand this pressure we all face

The strength to continue and overcome

I will tap into

Until I see you again...

My friend

D Day 2011

So my man is dead by his own hands

But was it by his own means

Seems to me that this could have been what someone dreamed about

No doubt

Doubt has let me into thinking why

But that is a fools guess

In a corner with his brains splattered he lay

They say from a rifle

After he wrote out his will on paper

With his mother in the next room

So my man killed himself

And plenty believe he is going straight to hell

As if we are not living in it now

As if the devil is not fucking with us daily

God willing

So he took his life

Or changed forms by his own will

I say if you have the will to live

You can have the will to die

You can have the will to die in your free will as a man

And execute your self

Say fuck you to the bill collector

And the rest of the pests

That are left with no answers like me...

So I feel he is free

I don't say he is going to hell

I say he is leaving hell

And vindictive no good humans

That show many faces and are full of shit

He is leaving here and may or may not come back

May or may not haunt the living forever

Wherever he fits he will

He is gone in the physical

But lives forever

Every time I remember him

So parts of him will stay in hell

Oh well

New Lows

Evidentially the standards of decency have been lowered

I have had pictures of genitals sent to me that were not mine

I was told of sexual acts she was going to perform on others

Now she takes a call whispering as if I am to be bothered

Well, I am not

I don't expect much from any person that is trying to buy a person

Of course I prepare any woman to be a freak for the masses

Especially after she has been in my classes

What makes a woman ugly is whats inside of her

No schooling and degrees can give any woman class

Life makes women break things and cuss and text and call out of control

I used to look at old movies we made thinking about the time

Now I try to look for any traces of her face, body or essence

And delete them and cleanse and move on

I change around every room that touched her

I cleanse my children of her memory

Its too early in the morning to do anything but sleep

But tomorrow I will get further from this stain on my existence

I need new business cards and I need to change my cell

Everything here is old

Including thoughts of being civil with monsters

New lows

Unplanned

My confusion sets in with the well wishers rhetoric but lack of support

Am I as big of a fool as it seems

No soul in this body to be bled anymore

What kind of disrespect should be tolerated

Silence myself before my words can be twisted

I'm sick of teaching you new ways to be me

No one has any love for the truth anymore

Only great presentations of falsehood and mockery

Destroying the essence of what it is to be true original and honest

Why do people lie when they can hurt you just as bad with the truth

Sucking my blood and eating off of me requires I stay alive

As you try to take all of the life out of me

As if this won't erupt again

As if my pen and my thoughts should stay complacent

Adjacent to salvation is removal of the source

Rehearse your imitation

Feminine acting men disrespecting the definition

No Nzingah strength

Just devious plagerizim

Get off my dick

Life is gansta and its about to come out

Let's dance because the moves are brutal

And this is futile and non productive

Jack yourself

Whack your self

I'm sick of mediocre showing up trying to be me

I'm sick of people lying to me when the truth is just as bad

Funny when you realize

What you were enjoying

You never had

Not even half

Nothing can change the anger when its comfortable can it

Nothing can make it possible to understand

Laugh now

because it is all unplanned

Oxymoronic Pedagogy

The transfer of words into ideas spread like leprosy

Contaminating my mind and spilling thru my consciousness

Disturbing my silence and desire to not write

My inactivity not as interesting as activity

Simply finding the hole to fill begins electricity

Specifically the charge to not want to remember

To want to seep into other planes of myself

Cracked and beaten by life

Brused but not shaken

Historically, these ideas are too abstract to be formed into words

And everybody has already heard them

Illusions seems friendly now

When the real world lets you down

Crowning kings of false gold

Stories told in whispers by liars

Doing all things simultaneously together with empty hands

And full feelings

In tune to the universe of selflessness

Being birth continually until we return to the inquiry of interest

Less than cosmic but popular

Because no one wants there to be nothing after death

A lonely start

To a lonely ending

One shot at it all

Crushes egos and makes reincarnation interesting

You used to be something else in another life

You are not your self

That newborn baby has been here before

Oxymoronic pedagogy

Hopeless pathology

Silence - sloppy

Here I'll stop me

Still my children love me above everything else

Except themselves

Here is to their health and mentality

Hoping they will always stay free

Above you

And above me

Is God ever lonely

Especially when everyone that talks to God never helps God

They only try to help themselves

Better understand everything around them

That can never be understood

Life is a slow death

A competition we readily wake

Even though everyone that truly wants to stay here forever

Will always loose

There are no vampires except for the lecherous people

They prey on each others weakness

Everlasting life is conversational at most

There are no ghosts

No spirits or gifts

Just mind trips

Thank you for riding with me this time...

People Don't Care

I truly believe now that people don't care

The things we have been brought to think are sacred

Don't mean anything

People are into the moment

There is not critical assessment of social means

People want you to work for free

In the name of friendships

But friends should want to compensate you for your work

If I make it look easy then it is not worth compensation

Morality is out of the window

Roles that are yours like father are undercut by boyfriends

Who gives there child to the ward of another person?

Where do they do that?

People don't care

Care is a lost concern with terms like community and decency

Is there any hope for the future except that they will end like the present and past

Afro Blue - Pick My Brain

Afro Blue - Pick My Brain (Another piece inspired by Hajjimus Prime's track Afro'z)

In I go indigo never ignorant
Indiscriminate anti-indigent ingredient
Militant when muted
Mind unpolluted
So I remember my heart beats
Like a djimbe or Congo
From the horn of Africa
Blown into the rhythmless Americas
On ships i rocked
Made waves
As we paved ways of free men
Forced to be slaves
Escaped and became indian braves

Buffalo soldiers on angel wings
Leaving angel dust
Showing open toed footprints
Walking away from culture
I represent the melanin of many men
Running from the fed and state pen
Where they try to say my kind will be ending
Unless we pretend we don't represent
Where all life begins
At the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro
Follow why they know all of I be related
I be Lucy's blood relative
The Hottenot female with extended rear
That shadowed over her path
Scrutinized by strangers
But Mendel let your secret out
Genes don't get darker
They get lighter
When mixed
They dilute in strength and content
But worse than humanity
It hurts and hits harder
When it affects the mentality
The Black Man Fallacy

My wealth has to be stealth
My health depends on how i resist
And look like I'm conceding
Bleeding you slow until unconscious
I stay conscious
Waiting on my opportunity to strike
In the name of my ancestors
I stay restless
Kum Apem Ah Apem Beba
When you kill millions
Millions more will come
Pamoja Tutashinda

Together we shall win