She exists in me

Asymmetrical to the heavens walking in flesh and the sun bearing children inside of tears of joy

The universe emptied its energy into a cosmos and reminded me life is worth living still

Her beauty reproduced in the eyes and whispers of envious limbs that support other women

Trying to be a part of some sort of Divine order in a godless world is where I met her

In the brief moments that divide seconds before they cluster into time infinitum

I was reminded that a human can reach the levels of angels and hang in the clouds effortlessly

As long as the vision is pure and from the soul and leveled with the fear of our mortality

Understanding that time is slow and fast and a man made concept of how to capture moments

So time is not real, sleep is not real, I recognize neither when she and I are intertwined

Apart from her I look at the sun and moon when I wake and gaze at our eyes past reflection

My senses magnified by anticipation of the thought of the scent of the wind passing her skin

The study of the stimulation of the memory of the nerves delivery from the touch of a single lash of her eye

The earth rotates its axis back and forth to move the wind as she bends

Immeasurable is her affect on this planet as her menstruation keeps the sky regular and cleansed

Her past belief in other guys lies reassure the hope of some truth coming in this reality

Where hustlers pass blame to those hustled for not recognizing they were being played

Where the power of love and dedication make trust a five letter word that equals to blindness

I respect her minds decisions as well as her body's reaction to outside influences

So her aborted fetuses resupply the pool for old souls so new life can continue

Her open eyes show the optimism of anything being possible as recuperation from any pain

I have licked her wounds with her and offered my vulnerability to her as a strength by submission

And I am not submissive

I have just learned follow the natural order of my head and listen twice as much as I speak

Her interpretation of my life's past delivery shows me why I have not been fruitful

Mainly because I have not been truthful or faithful to anyone or my self

She radiates and illuminates my dark thoughts until they no longer exist

She is an amalgamation of thoughts and experiences of every woman that has pass before me

Spoke to, hugged, loved or hated me, engaged me and or ignored me

I created these ideas inside of a vacuum of loneliness when it was her that showed me

There has always been a difference between being lonely and being alone

Being alone can give me more time to reflect on myself and just breathe and listen to what the earth is saying

It can also be a reality for me even when I am in a committed relationship because there is no communication

So many couples look so good on paper but inside they are unhappy

She has shown me happiness once again past the gossip of insecure women and effeminate men

The closeness of a good woman is the equivalence of a very great friend that wants whats best for you

She is not a sexual object for your pleasure never to be served and never to be pleased

Every time she serves me I try to serve her right back but better, longer and stronger

I won't fall into the cycle and wait for her to initiate before I participate again

I'll let her know that I have been waiting on her and how important she has been in my life using words not just actions

I've been thinking about her and how I would show her I have missed her since she was last in my presence with words and actions

I want to embrace her in a way physically, mentally and spiritually to show her my incompleteness without her

How I like to kiss her so softly that every groove on her fingerprint is a loving labyrinth

Leading to the rest of her body's bounty and no matter where my face finds itself

My eyes and my attention are deeply imbedded into the sight of her as she lay in my arms thoroughly satisfied that I exist in her

And my behavior when I am in places alone should reflect how much she exists in me...

Constantly connecting through the universe monitoring my actions that she is more important to me than any mistake I would need to apologize for

And I am strong enough to not allow anyone to take away or interrupt the sanctity where we last left and my body has her last touch

So even in my demise the last time that I would rise and fall would be in and for her so she would always retain the last of me

As I would hold my last intimate moments with her for my infinity

In heaven as in the earth - she'd exist in me

Dre

The earth births and shares until its over

Memories make sure that it never is

Dig that...

I still hear your voice

I still see your face

I still understand this pressure we all face

The strength to continue and overcome

I will tap into

Until I see you again...

My friend

D Day 2011

So my man is dead by his own hands

But was it by his own means

Seems to me that this could have been what someone dreamed about

No doubt

Doubt has let me into thinking why

But that is a fools guess

In a corner with his brains splattered he lay

They say from a rifle

After he wrote out his will on paper

With his mother in the next room

So my man killed himself

And plenty believe he is going straight to hell

As if we are not living in it now

As if the devil is not fucking with us daily

God willing

So he took his life

Or changed forms by his own will

I say if you have the will to live

You can have the will to die

You can have the will to die in your free will as a man

And execute your self

Say fuck you to the bill collector

And the rest of the pests

That are left with no answers like me...

So I feel he is free

I don't say he is going to hell

I say he is leaving hell

And vindictive no good humans

That show many faces and are full of shit

He is leaving here and may or may not come back

May or may not haunt the living forever

Wherever he fits he will

He is gone in the physical

But lives forever

Every time I remember him

So parts of him will stay in hell

Oh well

New Lows

Evidentially the standards of decency have been lowered

I have had pictures of genitals sent to me that were not mine

I was told of sexual acts she was going to perform on others

Now she takes a call whispering as if I am to be bothered

Well, I am not

I don't expect much from any person that is trying to buy a person

Of course I prepare any woman to be a freak for the masses

Especially after she has been in my classes

What makes a woman ugly is whats inside of her

No schooling and degrees can give any woman class

Life makes women break things and cuss and text and call out of control

I used to look at old movies we made thinking about the time

Now I try to look for any traces of her face, body or essence

And delete them and cleanse and move on

I change around every room that touched her

I cleanse my children of her memory

Its too early in the morning to do anything but sleep

But tomorrow I will get further from this stain on my existence

I need new business cards and I need to change my cell

Everything here is old

Including thoughts of being civil with monsters

New lows

Unplanned

My confusion sets in with the well wishers rhetoric but lack of support

Am I as big of a fool as it seems

No soul in this body to be bled anymore

What kind of disrespect should be tolerated

Silence myself before my words can be twisted

I'm sick of teaching you new ways to be me

No one has any love for the truth anymore

Only great presentations of falsehood and mockery

Destroying the essence of what it is to be true original and honest

Why do people lie when they can hurt you just as bad with the truth

Sucking my blood and eating off of me requires I stay alive

As you try to take all of the life out of me

As if this won't erupt again

As if my pen and my thoughts should stay complacent

Adjacent to salvation is removal of the source

Rehearse your imitation

Feminine acting men disrespecting the definition

No Nzingah strength

Just devious plagerizim

Get off my dick

Life is gansta and its about to come out

Let's dance because the moves are brutal

And this is futile and non productive

Jack yourself

Whack your self

I'm sick of mediocre showing up trying to be me

I'm sick of people lying to me when the truth is just as bad

Funny when you realize

What you were enjoying

You never had

Not even half

Nothing can change the anger when its comfortable can it

Nothing can make it possible to understand

Laugh now

because it is all unplanned

Oxymoronic Pedagogy

The transfer of words into ideas spread like leprosy

Contaminating my mind and spilling thru my consciousness

Disturbing my silence and desire to not write

My inactivity not as interesting as activity

Simply finding the hole to fill begins electricity

Specifically the charge to not want to remember

To want to seep into other planes of myself

Cracked and beaten by life

Brused but not shaken

Historically, these ideas are too abstract to be formed into words

And everybody has already heard them

Illusions seems friendly now

When the real world lets you down

Crowning kings of false gold

Stories told in whispers by liars

Doing all things simultaneously together with empty hands

And full feelings

In tune to the universe of selflessness

Being birth continually until we return to the inquiry of interest

Less than cosmic but popular

Because no one wants there to be nothing after death

A lonely start

To a lonely ending

One shot at it all

Crushes egos and makes reincarnation interesting

You used to be something else in another life

You are not your self

That newborn baby has been here before

Oxymoronic pedagogy

Hopeless pathology

Silence - sloppy

Here I'll stop me

Still my children love me above everything else

Except themselves

Here is to their health and mentality

Hoping they will always stay free

Above you

And above me

Is God ever lonely

Especially when everyone that talks to God never helps God

They only try to help themselves

Better understand everything around them

That can never be understood

Life is a slow death

A competition we readily wake

Even though everyone that truly wants to stay here forever

Will always loose

There are no vampires except for the lecherous people

They prey on each others weakness

Everlasting life is conversational at most

There are no ghosts

No spirits or gifts

Just mind trips

Thank you for riding with me this time...

People Don't Care

I truly believe now that people don't care

The things we have been brought to think are sacred

Don't mean anything

People are into the moment

There is not critical assessment of social means

People want you to work for free

In the name of friendships

But friends should want to compensate you for your work

If I make it look easy then it is not worth compensation

Morality is out of the window

Roles that are yours like father are undercut by boyfriends

Who gives there child to the ward of another person?

Where do they do that?

People don't care

Care is a lost concern with terms like community and decency

Is there any hope for the future except that they will end like the present and past

Afro Blue - Pick My Brain

Afro Blue - Pick My Brain (Another piece inspired by Hajjimus Prime's track Afro'z)

In I go indigo never ignorant
Indiscriminate anti-indigent ingredient
Militant when muted
Mind unpolluted
So I remember my heart beats
Like a djimbe or Congo
From the horn of Africa
Blown into the rhythmless Americas
On ships i rocked
Made waves
As we paved ways of free men
Forced to be slaves
Escaped and became indian braves

Buffalo soldiers on angel wings
Leaving angel dust
Showing open toed footprints
Walking away from culture
I represent the melanin of many men
Running from the fed and state pen
Where they try to say my kind will be ending
Unless we pretend we don't represent
Where all life begins
At the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro
Follow why they know all of I be related
I be Lucy's blood relative
The Hottenot female with extended rear
That shadowed over her path
Scrutinized by strangers
But Mendel let your secret out
Genes don't get darker
They get lighter
When mixed
They dilute in strength and content
But worse than humanity
It hurts and hits harder
When it affects the mentality
The Black Man Fallacy

My wealth has to be stealth
My health depends on how i resist
And look like I'm conceding
Bleeding you slow until unconscious
I stay conscious
Waiting on my opportunity to strike
In the name of my ancestors
I stay restless
Kum Apem Ah Apem Beba
When you kill millions
Millions more will come
Pamoja Tutashinda

Together we shall win

Portable Solutions

Technology has become affordable

And let me be recordable and portable

Available anywhere there is a will

And an ear to make it clear

People can take it with

If you can't remember the solution

You can store it on you your device as a gif

Jpeg, pdf and make the MF

Quit making BMs and BDs

And slide it to the VLs and GDs

Bloods and Crips

Gangstas, Thugs and Nerds

All at one time simultaneously

With a fast blast full of DNA

Decoded Natural Agression

At a system of fools in control of who lives and dies

See we perform suicide not so revolutionary

Daily I see the spirit sacrificed

For the material made of something already expired

Giving life for death

Filling our lungs and our lives with poison

Disrespecting breath

Tragic the devil never seems to be asthmatic

Its only the gods and earths that hold their jewels

But we all should just throw our seeds

For its not for us to know

What will be watered

Or decide to take root

Nor what time it will grow

In Search Of...

In search of a good woman

That understands that I am a good man

One that will not try and dictate who I should be

But one that accepts me as I do her

A single woman

I do not want another mans woman

Because she is another mans woman

I want a woman that can love me for who I am

Not a woman that wants me to turn into who she wants me to be

I resolve now that I surely have not met her yet

The next time I meet a woman

I am going to take all the mess that I have been through

And learn from it this time

I am sure I have overstayed my welcome here

Nothing is going right

And no matter what I do I am not happy

I have those thoughts again

And I need to be strong for my children

I need to be strong for myself

I can't trust anyone anymore

This is depressing

In search of a new way of living

Wonder if God is really mad at me for being me

I try so much to give to people and help

But it seems like I am not getting any help

I made concessions before to move for love

Now I hate that decision because I no longer am safe

I close the deal and get the job and I am told to leave

I work harder than ever and still get worse results

I keep having those thoughts again

And I can't do that to anyone

This is my fault

I have to take ownership

I am alone because I will not take shit

And this is fine for me

Nobody I want wants me

Nor do I trust the ones that say they want me

For what

What do they want

Why are they here

Why am I even writing

Who wants to read or hear this

This is so personal but all out in other peoples conversations

They don't fucking know me

Nosy ass witches trying to cast spells on me

Wishing me the worst luck

I will prosper

But for now I have to disappear

Because I am in search of something better

A better place where people respect me

And respect that I can do what is right

And know I do not throw around words like I love you

Nor do i spend my time with people that are not special to me

So here we go

Changing numbers

Changing addresses

And leaving everything behind

In search of something better

A place that may not exist

As I question the worth of my existence to more than my seeds

My son would miss me

My mother would miss me

Everyone else would just pass on the story of who they thought I was

Which I probably was not

I don't need the spotlight

I don't need the stage

I am so sick of being surrounded by greedy people

I am so sick of hearing empty promises

These fucking people just want to bitch

They just want to complain

They just want to live in theory

They don't want to do shit to change their own situations

So I'm done wasting my time on them and this idea of us

Do I even care if anyone remembers me

I surrounded by so many selfish people

Complaining about nothing as I loose everything

Ha Ha I can only laugh

And understand that I am on this path for a reason

A reason that I am in search of

Because I really do not know

I don't want to be patronized

I really need to close this down and spend some time alone...

B.U.L.L.Y

I better understand lives like yours

You demonstrate a lack of willingness

To accept the individuality of others

Something inside you smothers your humanity

Your humility absent because you don’t feel loved

You were abused – raised in the dark

And my light shines so bright

You frown as so not to drown

In your own inadequacies

You sink deeper into groupthink

You are toughest when you are with others

Alone I exhibit more strength than any group

Decide my own direction until perfection

When you or your group start doing what I do

I must be doing something else

In order to stay fresh – and you need me

Your existence is so gray and archaic

Someone told you that pushing me would hurt me

And it would make you feel better

But all it did was help me become stronger

The longer you harass me

The weaker you become

I become numb to your name-calling

I loose all desire to be around you

Or anyone else like you

I grow a distain for anyone

Or anything that condones your type of behavior

We cannot have the same Savior

My God can never be that abusive

I felt alone everyday

Inside my home I closed the door

And I’d go deeper inside of me

I won’t hide inside of my pride

To stoop to homo or suicide

But don’t push me

You love to say “or what!”

“What are you going to do about it!”

Well, I am going to remain who I am

And gain strength while you

Disappear into nothingness

The older we get the better you used to be

The better I am currently

I will travel this planet and see

That the whole world loves someone like me

I was born with natural leadership qualities

You say you know people

People say they know me

And publically or silently

They always admire my ability to be free

I better understand lives like yours now

You used to chase me home

You and your friends used to make life hard

The older we get the more of you

Are now behind bars

The older we get the less respected

All of you have become

You all used to be so cool

Now you all look so dumb

You made me an outsider

So now of course I’m not here for acceptance

Every time I perform

I am having creative conversations with my Creator

Of which I’ve given you permission to listen

Multifaceted we are – painting pictures

Painting pictures actual or abstract

But always graphic

And I would love for you to love it

But if you don’t I rise above it

See the drama and the trauma that I went through

Makes me never covet any acceptance from you

Through all of life’s complications

I put together bits and pieces of my life as presentations

To the resilience of human manifestations of triumph

Someone you picked on as a nobody

Now I am a GIANT

“I’m 20 feet tall”

And I don’t mess with you at all

But if you mess with me

You’ll soon see my ability

To remove all noise from my life

To find my harmony

Yes I am that little boy from Catholic school

The one you said only had

1 shirt, 1 tie and 1 pair of pants

The one you would not let be

Until I learned that the only one

I could depend on to fight for me

Is me

So Bully

I better understand lives like yours now

So I’ll dedicate this life of mine

To let the children know they are safe

And there are more of their kind than yours

And our job won’t be done

Until the last child tells a bully

You will leave me alone

I am no longer afraid of you

There are people here that understand me

And will protect me if you continue

So I refuse to run!

Look out world here I come!

See I better understand live like yours now

And it’s time

You better understood

Lives

Like

Mine…

To help in assisting in preventing bullying check this website www.nveee.org

It Continues

I continually get disrespected by people that I trusted

This continually let's me know that I do not think as much about myself as I should

I know people say I have a big ego

People say I am full of myself

It is truly these people that do not know me

I have a big heart

I am just not a fool

People confuse poet and punk

Because I am in the arts folks think I won't fight

I don't like to fight

Rarely start them but I am determined to finish them

I don't bother people

I really dont want to be bothered by them

I stay in my lane and do my thing

And do me

I must look stupid to people around me

I must look like I dont work hard

I am unorganized or I can't take care of business

I can take care of business

I just watch what people say and what they dont say

Watch what they do and what they dont do

People tell you a lot about them under pressure

Most can't take it

And then try and bring you in on their short comings

Not me

I'd rather start over and keep it moving

Or just continue on my destiny

The Magic Box

That magic box holds notes as quotes

In reverence to strokes

Sliding scales of her frequencies

My tendons limber

And its been weeks since I felt her lips

I grab her face when I kiss her

So they poke out

How I like it when she pouts

Her eyes roll back in her head

We would think she is dead

If it weren't for the things she said

She says my name

And other phrases like

OMG - what is this

My name

Hold it I can't breathe

My name

See I know its a game asthma or not

If you saying anything you can breathe

So I keep it going deeply

She loves it when I kiss her breasts

She even kisses them too

They are uniquely shaped

And they fit in my mouth

I miss her tongue

Her sucking me

I miss her strong grip

And her acknowledging how good it is

"How good it is..."

"How good it is..."

"How good it is..."

"How God he is..."

I hear in my head

So am I zoning over all that has put me in a zone

I may not speak to her again

I may speak to her again

"The sex is blazing"

"And it's so amazing"

But can the relationship compare

We will always let us sabotage us

Some tricks in her magic box

Make me disappear

But only physically

I have penetrated deeper than her ear

Left competing memories

Then again...

I may just think too much of myself

Abbra Cadabbra tho

Onto another bro

I know they still call

They never fully let they exes ever go

If they told you a name

Or they remember them easily

They bring back their spirits

Saying they only have a few intimate

Numbers go down on presentation

Go up in discovery

I never think about them when I'm in her

I never thought about them before I touched her

I never thought about them after she came

The vanishing various influences on her vagina

After she got caught in my rhythm...

Listen to the music

Brian Stow

A blow to Brian Stow

Let the world know

You can be a fan

Just don't be fanatical

It's not practical

But it's factual

As American as baseball and apple pie

Is violence

Just like the silence

Against the evidence

Of this selfish act

That was senseless

So presently since he has lost his voice

Because of his choice of teams

I'll speak out against this nightmare

While he dreams

We are close in age

Both with daughter and son

You shouldn't be afraid to go to a game

Because we are for different sides, I shouldn't have to run

And this is not for play

And nothing we can say

Can take the actions away

What they live with today

What they did to another family

Could have happened to you or me

Currently we want him to be strong

We want him to hold on

This was about baseball

Now its about humanity

Wherever an innocent person falls

Its affects you and me

No child should hope their parent remembers them

No parent should be in a position to loose their child

No person that knows any of the aggressors should harbor them

The conscious of one of you should be running wild

We have all had our emotions overcome us

Some in joy and some in grief

We all should respect the teams we love

What has happened here is beyond belief

No matter how we try

We will find no reason why

Hopefully we can see our selves and our own lives

When we see a passerby

Love As A Breeze

If I had the nerve or the strength to get inside of myself and push

Make me be quiet and listen to the rhythm of the wind

Maybe then I could begin to understand that loosing myself in you

Would be the best destination for my quest to become a new

A different vibration is what love has to be

Through the chaos of the day I should comfort you

If only in thought because distance has no barriers on love

Every hue is magnified inside of it as if we glow together stronger than the sun

Your radiation amplifies as I close my eyes to remember why I feel

It is only necessary to transfer a sense of your being

All tenses, present, past and future reflect the possibility

What you mean to me is more than the atom to life

Less complex than the science behind the molecules of the fear of loosing you

Bonded together in foreverness before the power of we or us can be forgotten

I will transform myself into something powerful and remember

Time shall be obedient to this kiss of eternal magic in tanden as we dream

Of being close and together again in flesh or spirit

Shhhh… there are no words that can define a love Divine

It only caresses the naked body as it moves through space as a breeze

For Those That Know

For those that know

Brutal is what it can be

Gentle to those that are not looking

Easy to those that are not in it

It's hard to get in

It's hard to get out

Many try to be a part of it

Many speak about it

But few truly know it

A lot of people say they got it

But most just look like they got it

A lot of people run from it

And most of the time once you in it

You realize it's too much...

See from the outside it does not look complex

But there are layers upon layers of instinctive patterns

The exterior ambiguous as to not define the essential

Silence is golden in any field

But here it is necessary

I appeal to you to be stand up and not tell her

Everything here is need to know

Slow to show your hand at every level

This is the devil's baby

Shaitaun's lady

God's advocate

Here is where all prayers are driven from

Forbidden in some instances

The holiest of virtues here is your word

And you all can recognize each other on sight

I've seen the worry overcome some

And leaving it still never being considered an option

This is Alpha and Omega

The beginning and end

We hold these truths to be self evident

That all evidence is immaterial

Don't take my picture

And don't ask too many questions

Being suspect can be suspect and a reason to move

Everyday you may have to prove you still belong here

I learned to do then say

You can check for it yourself

Solid on all levels; all heads call me to this day

All the ones alive and well in their senses

I pray for those not here

And hold hope for those that have yet to return

I ask God for understanding

Because its man that is confused

Man that goes through these mantras of self

Meditation for mediation

My foundation been on a square

Rotating my diamond still lets me shine and reflect

Expected to take the next to the next

As an agreement to be an architect

Building on more than the ex

Factor that into your mix

What do I care about your preferences, gender or politics

This is the place I learned about diversity, equal opportunity and unity

The only place I saw justice come and go and most run from the wet spots

Where the seasoned vets talk in parables with meaning

"Son... give out ... don't give up"

"Hell, a fish can't get caught if it don't open its mouth"

"When you finally woke up... I was sleep"

"Getting emotional can get you what you came for..."

"It's never about a woman but it's always about a woman"

"If you coming for me... you better bring your lunch"

"Use your head for more than a hat rack"

"Next time you look... open your eyes"

"Most arrive and leave blind"

"Higher self must master lower self to distinguish man from beast"

See I learned not to trust in an interest of self

Open people are their own worst enemy and a fool believes he has none

Here just like anywhere

Follow the dollar to follow the power

There is more to life than it

But here most of us are not concerned by any of that

So we buy enough things to keep us distracted

And know the price on every person here unrehearsed

We all have come here to prey at this alter

And become numb and preconditioned to accept pain as a constant

A hell of a life for any man woman child

Husband wife concubine mistress or mister

And I've been many to some and none to many

And plenty of bills been paid by it

College seats filled from it

Churches built on it

In the name of this

Most hope their children don't follow them here

But if they do...

They help whip their asses too

It's just the way it is...

See the only way you can find out

Is you have to live it...

Across all genders

Only the weak talk about it

Those true to it can only be about it

It's not open to speak about

There ain't no room to show

And like I said before

It's only for those that know

Play With Suicide

Well this is the time when I need to stay tough

And be steadfast because I know and hear the eagerness

I can since the happiness of the outside when they think I'm stressed

When it appears that all is going down and chaotic

What they do not know is that I was born in chaos

And I stand my strongest when the world presses against me

I play with suicide but its just a means to an end

A whole card that never speaks to you again if you take him up on it

I've seen what it does to the body collective

People only talk for 2 weeks when you die

Then its on to the embellishing and exaggeration

Every partner I had that killed himself was unhappy about something

Every partner I have that has not killed himself is unhappy about something

I just don't think the trauma that my guys wanted to send out to the universe happened

Most of us could not understand it and a lot thought it was stupid

YahYah said he was not weak enough nor was he strong enough to kill himself

He said a person has to resolve that there is no other solution in the universe for them but death

Death being the only solution?

Death to yourself?

And what if that only amplified the voices in their heads?

What if they were in inertia and could not get out because they killed themselves

What if they had to relive the moment over, and over and over

We rarely talk about it

But none of us forget it

And we all have a reference for knowing someone that did it

Ideologically I killed myself several times

And now I resurrect my dead self over and over

To be placed in a better scope of light for the future, right

I have to hoist the magical parts differently

The truth is...

If you kill yourself

No one cares...

Going Through My Memories

I miss my friend and her smile

So many things behind her eyes lie

So fragile her body

But strong is her spirit

I really want her to be happy

I really wish for her to be happy

I really hope to someday help

She makes me think about other than my self

I miss my friend and her smile

She is so very nice

Why does she go through so much and say so little

Her body and her hands

Are in scale to all her heart holds

She has to get healthy and come back around

Not because I'm selfish

It would just be good to see some good in this hood

I miss my friend and her smile

And I know I am not alone

But I am talking about my experience with her

I expect great things in life

I expect her to share in them

And if I never told my friend

I want to let her know I care

See I miss my friend and her smile

And even if it takes her a while

I have memories to hold on to

So I don't have to miss her totally

I can watch videos

I can watch pictures

I can remember her sleeping on a road trip

I can remember and I with our other friend trippin

I can remember my son's affection to her

So I have a lot of things to go back to

When I miss her

When The Present Can Not

There are times

When the best things come from bad judgement

And Times when the future explains

What the present sometimes

Can not

X Chromosome

Her mortality confused her purity

To me the venom

Is the ability to perish

And or to kill

Will or spirit amplified through one thing we all share

Her defiance allows us to stand for something

As we were all female first then received our sex

Although we run from the sensitivity

Love is not feminine

War is not masculine

Conflict is asexual

Vey intellectual and needed for advancing

The balance of reason

With the eloquence of speech

Adds to confusion

Our weaknesses turn us to agreement

Looking for like minds

So we can hide inside of our commonality

Its this very weakness

That opens us up for exploitation

And imitation in admiration

But no progress shall come from duplication

Unless the duplication is the desire to create

Or the desire to do something better

To be greater than we ever were

Or greater than we ever have been

See the sin comes from thinking

The people are ignorant

It's apparent in their choices

Their actions in private

How they lust for wealth and glamor

And how they hate to work for anything

How they ask you for your opinion

But really only want you to tell them

They did a good job

Or that they were interesting

When really they were boring

And most people do not pay attention to them

See on the stage

They try to become comfortable with the attention

But they were never popular

Rarely were accepted

Always wanted to be accepted

And thought because you were popular

This feeling is what you had all along

Whereas popularity

Brings too much familiarity

Because someone knows of you

They sometimes create these relationships

Between you and them that only exist in their world

A world you are not privy to

But you are a part of none the less

I guess

This X

She

Being the basis of our structure

Our life

Like an elder's advice seldom adhered to

Like all of the life problems

We all go through

The unpredictability of whats coming next

Like what do you believe in more

God or sex

And I say that for people

Who sex more than they pray

And then look confused at how their life got that way

Don't believe it when they say

They want a man that is strong

Wrong

They want a man that will follow

Their lead

Their program

Their advice

The world likes to make the strong men pay

Their truth

Their conscience

Their belief

Is not welcome

And they will punish you

Be unjust to you in front of peers

Show the other workers the price to pay for disobedience

Look what you conscience got you this time Kelechukwu

No vacation

No employment

No pay

And what can I say

Do you think I don't ned the money

Do you think I don't accumulate debt

Do you think I eat for free

I just don't let the world see what comes over me

Family don't give a damn

They want their money

Family would rather house, cloth and feed a stranger

Than assist you in any way

I guess you have had your day

And any time you accomplish anything

They have the smiley face

But I never forget my place

Nor forget that its not my place

We are all on a fine timeline defined by the X

See I was on a quest

To find something we all shared

So we could all come together

Have some common ground

Well consider the common ground found

Things may really be worse than they appear

Because it appears that commonly

None of us really cares

Her mortality confused her purity

To me the venom

Is the ability to perish

And or to kill

Will or spirit amplified through one thing we all share

Her defiance allows us to stand for something

As we were all female first then received our sex

Although we run from the sensitivity

Love is not feminine

War is not masculine

Conflict is asexual

Vey intellectual and needed for advancing

The balance of reason

With the eloquence of speech

Adds to confusion

Our weaknesses turn us to agreement

Looking for like minds

So we can hide inside of our commonality

Its this very weakness

That opens us up for exploitation

And imitation in admiration

But no progress shall come from duplication

Unless the duplication is the desire to create

Or the desire to do something better

To be greater than we ever were

Or greater than we ever have been

The End

Mind Control

You can not control my thoughts

My mind is a weapon

Truth vs Love

The love of truth vs the truth of love is

Your heart betrays your mind

To save you from pain

That never goes away anyway

The Night Watcher

Hajjimus Prime - Night Watcher

Inspiring poetry by

Kelechukwu Brnfre

I saw my eyes dim

Headlights reflected off of New Tims

Alley Rocks getting Kicked and sold

The streets so cold

The street light illuminate what the streets hold

Everyone's worst fear

Is what's coming this year

I-65 connect respect

Genetics and wisdom prophetics

My poetry energetic

Over beats kinetic

See, You leave the G

But the G don't leave you

O.D.

Over Dosed

Ode to Dilla

Delaney to Do' Milla

5th Av to 94

Turn corners slow

Now you know how we hold

Born under the same area code

Coding areas read and blue

Left and right respectfully

Started in the G

Going world wide

Cause the wide world just got slim

Hustals got a new anthem

As we enhancing the planet

Damn it

Don't take my people for granted

If it can be done

We can do it together

Won't get consumed

As we watch the moon

Turn to the sun

As we refuse to loose

And keep shining like one

The road has just begun

Reflecting my light as I write

Nod your head up and down

In agreement that the beats' nice

Here's some free advice

Keep watching us

As we bring thoughts to life

Some meaning from knowledge born

Until we pay the ultimate price

With our life

We can still go on

Eternally in your dome

My mind is double action automatic

And much more lethal than your chrome

Hajj- let your beat take 'em home

The Night Watcher

The Ugliest Of Them All

What type of person uses their influence against what they produce

Forces a child into a situation of confusion for personal gain

I won't speak your name or of this again

I'm going to leave it alone as you will be in the end

You can't be friends with the wicked

Inherited her genes naturally

For generations this has been their demonstration

Glad I got it clear before I moved into another area of life

Never wanted that in my life as a wife

Gave the benefit of the doubt

So I wont pout

I never had that much invested in your character

Children are soldiers

But the should not be placed at war in their homes

The smile of the jackal deceiving at most

Host of the fury of the future

Who has a history of deceit

She gets no respect anymore

A classic, won't be a house anything

If there is a door she leaving it open as well as her options to get out of it

Personal goals of yours supposed to be better than mine

I'm dreaming and you are a visionary

Nothing to talk about in private, legendary

Mediocrity so nothing major gone

They just traumatizing my seed in their home

But any seed of mine is going to be strong

And no matter what wrong is being done

They can't buy his love

They can't replace his scholarship with fun

So they enroll you in athletics

And they give you second rate education

I was preparing you for greatness

Time will come when they will have too much on their hands

Then you can come here and become a man

No men in your midst to judge from

No backbone in your home

Weak one when you visit her mom

Nothing but a lot of noise and no direction

Stupid

But I will prepare

One day when the story is told of how they fold over in corners

To bend and pretend so they can get what they want in the end

No church can contain this strain of amoral choral

They think they are beautiful

But the are the ugliest of them all

No admiration for the bed they sleep in

Or the company they keep

Keep one eye open before they poison the other

Still you will discover

Its not even worth the time I put into this poem

Glad that mess is gone and its clear to others what I always knew

There is no limit to what they will take people through

To get what they are trying to do

These are the type of people that need to take classes in person

So they can off the extra curricular to ensure they pass

Nobody rides for free

And nothing is out of the question to make it

If she got it you can take it

If she is getting something in return

Its going to be

The More I Stand still

Fill the empty mind with worth

Pass the blame to self first

Heed the call for security

Because you are scared to succeed

Inhale the inspiration to breathe easier

I'm transparent and its apparent

That you really don't want to see

You really are not that open to being open

Discussion happens from two willing parties

Mirrors reflect extra caution

My portion double dosed

Forced my hand to close quicker

I've always been anti-nigger

Why are you reading this

What do you want to finally witness

What solution do you think you get by browsing

A curse to your family if you wish me ill

As I grow stronger

The more I stand still

What Reward

I deal in fiction some say because I hope the people can come together

I would like to think of this as a biographical

Because I am writing my legacy

With a reflective pen full of blood and mirrors

Spilling the ink into the psyche and consciousness of the planet

I don’t take counsel in my friends unless they hold integrity to be brutal

The growth from pain equaled out with qualified praise turns the wheel

Personal wounds stay open and unaddressed

Hidden like cuts on my torso

Opening over and over as I move

Seeping into my underwear and not visible to passers by

But I know the sickness that I live through and live by

My remedy is to stay still and watch

Hold myself and others accountable for who we proclaim to be

It is obvious to me

That you really don’t know me

So whoever misled you should be held accountable by you

Not me, for I know who I am fully

I know my deepest intimacies and perversions

I know my alarming thoughts that have become normal to me

Because I have been accustomed to loving my life more than yours

Self preservation can get sadistic to keep off static

I’ve been an addict to the pain and pressure so its hard for me to relax

I’ve made my weaknesses my strength

Just to make sense of it all

But what reward do I enjoy if I end up alone and without you

Without someone that looks like me and understands my nuances

That understands answers to questions like I do

Man how are you doing?

Sister how are you holding on?

Both of them answered emphatically

Please, I’m from the G…

An idiom to an idiot that does not understand that this is infinite

It is the adhesive to our recognition that no one should complain

Especially when we can open our eyes and see that no one cares

Everyone gets as far away from us as possible

As a solution for a better life for them

As if black hard work brings dirty sweat

As if the whole word can selectively forget

How we have made the world better

I remember every time I see a street light

I remember every time I hear “The Real McCoy”

Every time I see a child still smile in situations with the worst neglect

Every human being can respect that we want the best for our children

If there is no bridge then we have to build them

Walk across them daily to show the wear of its use

I’m from a city, in a region in a state of confusion

Where everyone should face the solution

Is reflected daily in the mirror

That as I learn to work progressively with you

I learn to work progressively

With my self

Until Their Death

I want to speak from a place hidden inside me by formalities

But I have to understand how my words cut and bruise

Plenty of people have ben hurt already and bring it to our introduction

Like little ex-girlfriends waiting for you to say something wrong

So they can catch you in a lie

When in reality

What you say is not a lie

It's just not a truth for you and them

People need winters to remember how cold the world is

How selfish a girl is

And how much responsibility they lay on you when things go wrong

How much credibility they take for keeping the relationship together

Really saying my worth is in security and warmth

If you don't have no money

Then you are a bum

Perform upon request

Or she'll let a rich guy cum

By now you should be numb and stop acting naive

As if you never seen this web weaved

You never felt sticky secretions from a black widows rear

Stay close enough to it and all kinds of things will appear

I have been my own worst enemy

Although I pretend to be my friend

I am at odds with my self now on whether to live or not

Who's winning

Don't worry I already know who you are rooting for

Place your bets

I'll have no regrets when this is done

I am still my fathers son

Born with my mother's aggression

In my hand, a stranger's Smith and Wesson

I already understand the consequences

It's just explaining this to my babies

Explaining how I let shady folk become a part of their life

How my vice past my advice still affects their life

Just how did I choose their mothers

And did their mothers really ever choose me

Am I just making the best of things

Because as strong as I am

I still can't get any understanding

I want to speak from a place hidden inside of me by formalities

But I have to understand how my words cut and bruise

Plenty of people have ben hurt already and bring it to our introduction

Like little ex-girlfriends waiting for you to say something wrong

So they can catch you in a lie

When in reality

What you say is not a lie

It's just not a truth for you and them

Can't people understand that feelings are reckless and haphazard

So I have to stay close to my logic

A heart is so deceitful

And it will have you say forget the math

This has worked somewhere I know

And leave you broken again with nothing to from it to show

You don't just leave the vomit

You clean it up

So depression is your enemies friend

It just slows you down unless you embrace it

Taste it for all of its bitterness

So the scent of success reminds your palate

Its sweeter being happy

But addicts look so happy during the high

As time passes them by

I hug myself when I am alone

And I feel the addicts cry

They want to know why

And why is because suffer the little children do

And then they die

I lost my mind when I found out

Everything we have been taught to believe in

Has been a lie

No one knows where we come from

No one knows where we go in the end

Go get yourself some things you can leave on this earth to your seeds

It will help them think and begin to befriend the wind

It will help them think and begin to befriend the wind

Life is short if you are having fun

Its long and hard for most

Most people are obsessed

To remember to try and forget

Forget where they made mistakes

Why they have wept

Why they are behind right now

Where they know they should be

So they pray and fellowship faithfully

My faith and prayer are tied into my works

I don't have the strength to call God a jerk

Or to be angry at why all people suffer life until they die

Then they may still suffer on the other side

Unless you are devout to what some man has passed down to you

On this side Riiiight

Why do I see so many that look like me

Under the heel of someone that does not believe in God

I never liked them so I never joined their ranks

And you seem so psychotic when you say you just believe

And you can't explain to me why you believe

And you get angry when I don't agree because you can't explain

Or your explanations require you to use some thing other than your brain

And you refuse to think main...

This is when I really see your pain

And reality sets back in again

This is when I really see your pain

And reality sets back in again

And you focus and try to remember to forget

That you don't know why you believe

It's just a feeling...

Nothing empirical

Life is just a miracle

You don't need any evidence

The devil is a scientist

No one knows where we come from

No one knows where we go in the end

Go get yourself some things you can leave on this earth to your seeds

It will help them think and begin to befriend the wind

Life is short if you are having fun

Its long and hard for most

Most remember to try and forget

Forget where they made mistakes

Why they have wept

They tell me hold my head up

Don't look at the ground

But how else will I watch my steps

I live my life for my self and no one else...

I live my life for my self and no one else...

I live my life for my self and no one else...

Most won't figure this out until their death....

Promise To Be Good

I'm so open to...

Loving you...

But I gotta love me...

Sometimes loving you makes me

Forget about all the things that I need

Love's blind but I need to see

Holding you takes away the pain

But I see I'm falling too hard again

I wanna slow it down but I'm in so deep

I'm so open to...

Loving you...

But I gotta love me...

When we make love I'm so clear

All I wanna feel is you real near

But when you're away is when I fear

The questions that I ask complicate thangs

And I don't know if I want a wedding ring

I hold my breathe and try to protect myself

If I don't look out for me then who will

Wonder did I take the red or blue pill

If you ask me I love you unconditionally

If you promise to be good to me

Then I'll promise to be good to you...

I'm so open to...

Loving you...

But I gotta love me...

Like there is no God in me

People treat me like there is no God in me

Like I don't understand there is no limits to my ability

Like I am supposed to be in submission to them for some reason

Like my voice should not be amplified to make any joyful noise

Like my story is less important than

Or some other story is better than

No, I know I am greater than anyone's expectation

Because I know there is God in me

I know God loves me

And I know God does not want me to fail

So I won't

So I will succeed at everything I do

I will never go into any situation plaguing myself with negativity

That seems to be your job and you may be good at it

But I understand that if I don't take my eyes off my goals

I never have to focus on any obstacles

Most successful people are too busy about the business of success

To call themselves that

They are involved in their work and can't address the haters

They have a SWAG that stands for

Showing Worth And Greatness

Contemplate on this if you can

God manifests himself through the spirit of the woman or man

You don't have to tell me what you believe

Let's just go back 12 months and look at your actions

It will SHOW US what you believe

People lie to people and even themselves all the time

But God knows your intentions

I don't have to be mentioned by a soul

As long as my soul is mentioned when the final roll is called

There are always 3 levels in which you can fight the devil

Your heart, your mouth and your hands

Your compassion, your words and your work

And I won't let anyone taint my memory or my ministry

I've seen the fruits of positivity move and grow in abundance

So I know that its much more than just me

I am a vessel full of velocity and viscosity

And I am open to let God use me and those that see me

To get us where we need to be

Ay - Man

You better wake up and don't just take up space

You remember the look on the elders face

When they would hear

The Lord is blessing me right now

He woke me up this morning

And He started me on my way

There are plenty that are absent

That would like to be here today

That would like to hear me say

There is God in me

I am His reflection

I am not perfect but I strive for perfection

So I practice, and practice and practice

See people do best what they do most

So I win

See its been set and ordained

And I don't own it

We all share in the ability to do and be better

So go out and inspire somebody else

Encourage them to accomplish their goal

There is nothing worse than a dream killer

So we are not going to acknowledge that energy

We are not going to be anywhere we are not wanted

Taunted or disrespected

God put us all here on this planet for a purpose

If you would only believe

People treat me like there is no God in me

Like I don't understand there is no limits to my ability

Like I am supposed to be in submission to them for some reason

Like my voice should not be amplified to make any joyful noise

Like my story is less important than

Or some other story is better than

No, I know I am greater than anyone's expectation

Because I know there is God in me

I know God loves me

And I know God does not want me to fail

Everyday

Everyday I have something to say

Some days I write it down

Other days I create concepts

But everyday I have something to say

Some days I don't say anything

And in certain situations

That says everything

Pauses fill space for timing

Your legacy is the only thing you can control

There is integrity in a person's poverty

Because it shows there are things they just won't do

Everyday things run through my mind

Some days they go in slow motion

Most of my vision is in 20/20

I would rather be somewhere alone with my family

Watching my children grow

But I need to earn money to live because

It is only free dumb

Everything else costs

Everyday I have something to say

Maybe not to you in general or specific

But...

Everyday I have something to say

Isometric Isolation

No matter what you say people will believe what they want

So I choose not to say anything to any rendition

What some people will do to keep away competition

What some people will do to the weak mind

I find myself in an isometric isolation

For standing by what I believe

For saying that we all have a voice

And we all deserve to be heard

I am use to gossip

It plagues me like taxes

And I know there is nothing you can do about either

See I keep moving and growing

So they always have something to talk about

I united my haters into organization

But their foundation is on sand

Based on fragile emotions and treachery

Now they pay for their homage and lack of loyalty and unity

With empty promises and jaded fronts

Adding to their biggest handicap

An ego with no work behind it

Wherever you find it

Run from it fast as you can

I am the best me I can be at all times, period

I don't want to be you

And you can never be me

Put your pride aside and get an agenda

Keep it and occupy yourself with it

Its unattractive

When the pen hits the paper and we talk about the practical

There is a devision of power

And it has been written

The ability to include and exclude reveals itself to reflect who has it

Rabid is the rhetoric

The respect is in the integrity of the work

The ability to fill empty rooms and minds with ideas and feelings

To want someone to leave better

Especially if the someone is yourself

See the ugliness of love is that when you give it

It does not have to be returned

And going to that point of vulnerability

Only opens you up to be questioned why you loved at all in the first place

People only listen to strangers

If they would have listened to you and your requests

You two would still be together

Now they are grasping for straws

They do not want the truth that they had ample chances and forgiveness

And they chose the result that they have now

Responsibility is a burden that most people do not want to carry

They live in the accolades of warm markets and crowds

When will they learn to not confuse the love of their family

With the delivery of their product

Constant mediocrity is just that

Mediocre

Unrelatable

Untranslatable

Mumbo jumbo

But the consumer has become infatuated with the less

And become full on a bad diet of garbage

So they no longer can distinguish the toxic and medicinal

So I guess since good is the enemy of great

Your enemies enemy is your friend

And your enemies friends are your enemies

You have to be your own barometer

And reflect what they project on you back to them

They like to dish it out and not receive it

What you put out on the planet you shall receive it

Most folks only say what they heard I said from what somebody else said

And they say they believe it

Unless its something positive about me

Then they say they would have to hear and see that for themselves

We come in and go out alone

So when I am not here physically

I will leave you with work to last for eternity

So you will never be without me

And you will never be lonely

I can be your champion if you let me

I can take on all comers

I saw what happened to Martin and Malcolm

I see how you treat the Chairman

I see how people acclimate to light in adoration

Deifying the flesh without permission

A wise man told me once

When I finally woke up he was sleep

So peep game

The circle has continued

And now I feel the same...

No matter what you say people will believe what they want

So I choose not to say anything to any rendition

What some people will do to keep away competition

What some people will do to the weak mind

I find myself in an isometric isolation

For standing by what I believe

For saying that we all have a voice

And we all deserve to be heard

The Alternative

When the times get hard and you feel hopeless I will believe in you

I will compensate for every deficiency and flaw that you perceive that you have

See you may not feel as if you are perfect

But you are perfect for me

The empty hands that I have need to be filled with your physical

See my mind is already occupied by you and your essence

Our luxury is our engagement

Our participation in us even our perception

I keep saying that you sell yourself too short and you are magnificent

I always am grateful that your father and mother created you

I know we all belong to God but it has to be hard for God to see you released

God has to miss you

See as I kiss you I feel something angelic

It calls my nature to attention

It makes my blood rush in a call to reproduce

In a tribute to you I want to recreate us

And I want to weigh heavy on your heart when we are apart

I want you to seek safety with me

Let me shelter you from even myself when I am not right

Let me reflect the sun rays in your eyes and participate in your happiness

Let's adjust to each other and show the world how to love

I am your alternative, your option lady

You do not have to settle for your less

Here is so much more

So much more of what you deserve

And I am pleased to stay inside of you

And only you

Until your view darkens and rests like the setting sun

With your head against my chest

Please leave me the f**k alone

I long to be faceless on facebook

Because my space is overcrowded

I no longer want to be linked in

Or tweeted

I want to read a book and let my mind go

I want to remove all the hands pulling on me

The price of success in any measure is your privacy

You open yourself up to the scrutiny of every hypocrite

Saying shit about me that they don't live by

Or things that work for your life that I do not enjoy

I'm sick of coming up with new ideas to feed your seeds

Leaving my seeds at home, alone, longing for me

I'm sick of the reckless emotions of immature people

I really don't fuck with people

So it would be advised that you

Stop fucking with me

I don't kiss ass or suck dick

So if you like it then do it

I am not subservient to any human

Just leave me alone

See I want to be faceless on facebook

Because my space is overcrowded

I no longer want to be linked in

Or tweeted

Now please leave me the fuck alone

It's So Hard For A Soldier

It's So Hard For A Soldier (4x)

It's so hard for a soldier

To server and stay sober

To serve and stay somber

To distinguish the enemies

To fight for freedom

To fight for honor

Your freedom to say you don't need them

I've seen how you treat them

When the world has no need for them

See I've been abandoned

And felt taken for granted

I followed all orders

Went to all borders

Followed every process

The truth they wanted less

A solidier's separated from family

A select few understand me

Holidays I think about something else

I couldn't be there myself

I missed a few funerals

Not a close enough relative

And to me it's all relative

It's So Hard For A Soldier (4x)

Now they want to take over

So you look over your shoulder

Then check in your holster

Remember what they told ya'

It's an issue if it was issued

No need for any tissue

You can't be subjected or subdued

See you're just the soldier

Built to take instruction

A capitalist construction

Built for the world's protection

The enforcement of objections

And an enforcer.

But could you happen to fashion

A little more compassion

I'm not ashamed of what I did

I'm not ashamed of how I lived

I didn't want to die for my flag

Just make my enemy die for his

It's So Hard For A Soldier (4x)